Time Machine Aint fair.

This happened a year ago.

DearFriendsMom was getting ready to go on a two-week trip to The States and she wanted the latest hits on her iPod for the plane ride over. Understandable – I’d do the same thing if I was going to be cooped up in plane for 20 hours. The thing was… DearFriend had the responsibility for maintaining her playlist. And My DearFriend asked me to help her.

So what exactly does this entail? Basically DearFriendsMom presented her(us) with three pieces of paper that looked like they had been torn out of a 1980s day planner. On these pieces of paper were songs scribbled in no logical order in which we could figure out.It was like a game, if you can’t guess what song it is in the first three letters you’ve lost. And lots of times even if we did manage to decipher the ameoba handwriting it said “That song from the movie…”

Needless to say we had our work cut out.

So we asked her brother to download the songs that we could make out and then returned her ipod, all in hopes that she wouldn’t notice that about 50 percent of the songs were missing. Well, she noticed. DearFriendsMom came back to us with a detailed mental list of the songs that were missing. For somebody who can’t remember the name of the movie she saw two days ago we thought she had an incredible memory for what she chicken-scratched on some piece of paper.

So we did the post-teenage eye roll, which is basically the same as the teenage eye roll except you put your back to her before you roll your eyes. It’s much less rude. By that time we were facebooking and just kind of did an Eh-ok wave, thinking she would go away. Then DearFriendsMom told us she would do it herself and we were thinking Oh, man really? Awesome!

Twenty minutes went by and she came back with a negotiation plan for the music list. We didn't have to download all the songs as long as We had to make a playlist with the “new” music. So DearFriend said ok and went about our day.

Later that week, we were hanging out her place together when DearFriendsMom came to us frustrated because her iPod wouldn’t turn off. It was like a child whose Barbie doll’s arm just fallen off. Well then DearFriend kinda shouted mentally (i could hear her) Fix it! But she decided to say, did you try the off button? DearFriendsMom said, YES and it won’t turn off. DearFriend replied, give it to me. She held down the bottom of the iPod wheel and the pod shut down just fine. What was the problem?

Then it occurred to me. We, meaning the ones who didn’t need assistance to actually locate this blog, most likely because you have a Facebook or Twitter page, WE are just smarter. Maybe smarter isn’t the best word for it…maybe it’s more that technology is a 21st century version of baby proofing for the older generations.

DearFriend's Mom told then she wanted to make a Facebook page then proceeded to ask DearFriend if she could make it for her.

DearFriend just did the Post-teenage eye roll again.

Not Sure if she ever carried out that request, more like Do-It-Its-Your-Mom's-Order.
(I'll check and update you too in my next post.)

Anyhow.

The way I see it is that it’s their way of paying us back for all the diapers that they had to change. All the times we woke them up crying in the middle of the night for no dang good reason. It’s just the circle of life. When my kids are my age I’m sure they will be making fun of me because I’m still troglodyte-ing my ass around with my 2008 iPod or a hard beaten some tab phone and old-style Facebook page. I can only imagine the things they will be trying to teach me. “Mom, this is how you get the robot to clean the dishes and when I get back from hologram shopping I’ll get Jimmy back in present day. I just didn’t expect that time machine to be so powerful.”

Now that i think about it, DearFriend and I kind of liked updating the iPod.

im pretty sure the blog virus entered my brains and never left.

No, this blog was not created in a spur-of-a/the-moment. I am no Mark Zuckerberg. I was not supposedly insulted by my boyfriend like him (a girlfriend in his case). Neither is this blog existing to get back at my son.of.a.holy.cow ex-boyfriend. That bloody would-love-to-drown-you-in-a-pool-of-blood-anyday cripple-head.Okay there. focus...Where was i again? oh yeah, I contemplated, weighted, ridiculed myself, procrastinated the hell out of time (if that makes any sense) and pursued a friend of mine to co-blog with me (for the longest time ever possible for human mankind to do so. No, just kidding. We've had only one conversation about this. so far. Me on my Facebook message inbox and him on his iPhone).We agreed to discuss about it. 

So, Me Sincerely and Dear Friend met up. We still haven't even cared to think about this together. We were just too busy cooling ourselves in this Why-dont-you-just-eat-me-up-too heat of Delhi.

Then it occured to me. I can just go ahead and playscape the blogging scene till he decides to join me. I want to learn stuffs. I mean, why not learn them by myself? Study after study shows that the human kind develop quickest and best when they are physically manipulating the environment by themselves. I decided placing and pressing the tips of my fingers on the alphabets and signs on my keyboard maybe one way to physically exercise myself. well, parts of me atleast. But i definitely have hashtagged (#) him in my The Cached Bible (TCB). 

So maybe you want to know what The Cached Bible is. Its actually nothing but my 7-year old very ordinary notebook with Avril lavigne adorning the cover. Yeah whatever. But thats where everything i know all about is being scribbled down in my 15th century penmanship skills. I resort to actually writing them down than keep them all cumulated in my cumbersome brains. You can find lines quoted from my all time favourite book "To Kill A Mockingbird", a punchline used in an ad of some jewellery line,lots of senseless-nowhere-near-to-any-kind-of-human-language-slash-dialect text messages me and this one friend of mine liked to exchange in our inhumanely impossible boring hours, every phone numbers and names of everyone i know, all my possible important notes to myself, hopeless odes i wrote etc etc. I think it even has the address of Angelina Jolie. 

Yes, i will answer that too. Its called The Cached Bible because well, see, Cache is a very common term in Computer language.So what does CACHE exactly mean? Who better to ask what cache means than the almighty Google himself? So I prayed to Google asking him if he could answer that and voila! Google defines Cache as "An area of high speed memory set aside to store frequently accessed data. When data is accessed, a copy is stored in cache memory. The next time the CPU looks for information, it first checks the cache. If the data is there (called a hit), it can retrieve it from the much faster cache memory". So, i'm the CPU here. I retrieve my data everytime i want an inspiration - information ( ugh same thing) i dig my TCB. And Bible because i worship it. Not like worship worship..you know what i mean. So there.

If my house was ever to come tumbling down or go down(up?) in the fiercest of fire, THAT is the only thing that would make me wanna go fight those firemen (that is if they ever decide to show up) and where they'd be like, you know, stop and pull me back but i would just shout at them with a high pitched scream "but i have to go in!!", but all they would hear would be a "..bluuuhhh i klluuvveeee gloooopppiiiieeee!!!"...and i'd stare at them.. then they would see that i meant business and suit me up in those whatever colour jumpsuits the Indian firemen are supposed to wear probably with the Ashok Chakra emblemed right in the middle of the chest, but they would let me go in along with other two firemen and after hours(it would seem that long to me obviously..hello! im inside a burning house??) i would come out all sooted and i would put up my hands holding The Cached Bible ,edges burnt, in the air and everyone wouldn't be able to just stop clapping their hands.  clap! clap! clap!..claaaaaa.....snap! snap!   ...Oh okay, so you get it. Its my most priced possession.

Along with ALL my other things. =))

So there, i had to start somewhere. Tweet me, wall me, scrap me, anything.

but seriously i want you all in my TCB.

I promise to not vent.